All Credit to My Heavenly Father

...with a little additional, round-about help from Mr LKP... and Mini-Me.

So, the slumpy blues I've been in have not been fun.  But airing it all out here in the space helped ease the pain a bit.  The supportive response has been such a blessing.  I can't sufficiently express my immense gratitude.  So please accept this, my meager thanks - thank you.

Mr LKP happened to read the last post Saturday evening.  I can't quite explain it, but his hugs have been more tender.  His kisses more sweet.  He's just been more gentle.  Even in church, yesterday, he hardly left my side (besides Relief Society in the last hour).  Considering all the Mother's Day talk, Mr LKP was very attentive & protective of me.  And it felt good to know I was physically not alone.

As for that last hour of church, without my husband by my side & surrounded by other women (many of whom were not suffering as I was & over the moon for Mother's Day), there was respite.  The lesson, surprisingly, was on Honesty.  I was soooo grateful that our Relief Society Presidency felt it was important to not deter from this year's lesson manual just to focus on the holiday.  I was so relieved.  In addition, Mr LKP's aunt was teaching, and I adore her, as well as her matter-of-fact style of teaching.  It's so clear, concise, educated, smile-inducing, and always, spiritually eye-opening.  Not usually is there a whole lot of run-away emotions when she teaches, and I think I learn best in that type of learning atmosphere.

She was just barely getting started, when a member of our Stake Presidency stepped in to share a few words with us sisters about Mother's Day.  My stomach plummeted through my chair, I'm sure of it.

He gazed at each of us, and proceeded to share with us that when Mother's Day is celebrated within our church that it is not strictly meant for those who are actively engaged in chasing toddlers around or cradling an infant in their arms at that moment.  He said that within the Church, motherhood = womanhood, as all women were given the power & talents to create.

This can mean many things, as some women may create children, while others create art.  Some women may bear children, while others may raise those children.  Some women may raise many children, while some will raise one child, yet unknowingly will have helped raise that child's peers.  Some women will help nurture and mold nieces, nephews & grandchildren, while some may help nurture and inspire children of their "village." 

We were literally created with the purpose of becoming mothers at some point in our future existence... guaranteed we will experience some form of motherhood.  Whether we enjoy the blessing of earthly posterity or not in this life, we have the potential to enjoy the blessing of worlds without number after this life... and worlds without number will need to be populated with even more spiritual children!

This member of our Stake Presidency went on to teach us how very important women have been throughout the history of the Church, as well as the history of the Earth.  We are important.  We are of worth.  We are Heavenly Father's crowning jewel.  He finished by expressing the love of our Stake Presidency for each of us, and testified to Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ's love for us as well.  With that, he was finished, and I was a teary mess.  But in a good way.  I knew that someone with a MUCH greater perspective was aware of my aching.  I no longer felt as lonely inside. 

So maybe my biological reach will remain with only one child.  But that child is loved & cherished by my husband as if she were his own.  That is a phenomenal blessing.  I often worried that Mr LKP would be disappointed that I could not give him someone to carry on his family name.  After discussing it, he told me that he wasn't concerned since his older brother has two sons who will do that for his family.  He's just grateful to have his two girls: me & Mini-Me.

And just because my biological reach may not extend past Mini-Me, that doesn't mean I can't be a positive impact in the lives of her friends.  So, apparently it IS possible to be the village momma while only having one bio-kid in the village!  :)

So, that's how this weekend played out.  But the message didn't end there.

This morning, as I was seeing my family out the door, I noticed that Mini-Me's rushed, disorderly cleaning job in the "living room" area of my shoebox house had been less than adequate... and a might bit sloppy.  Especially in the vicinity of the piano.  Namely, the piano bench.  No lie.  The lid would not, and COULD not close completely.  If one tried to sit to play a song, they would've slid off and bit the keys!  So I went about the task of organizing the bench's contents properly.  One task led to another... so I found myself in a binder, organizing all our loose sheet music into their own sheet protectors.  (When I was finished it was so clean, and lovely feeling!)  Then I put the rest of the bench's items in order (one stack of "mine" and one stack of "Mini-Me's").  At the bottom of the main pile I rediscovered a book I'd overlooked, and sadly forgotten about.  It was placed on the music desk of the piano, and I finished reconciling the bench.

This book is a collection of songs sung by Jessie Clark Funk.  I sat down, perused through many of the sungs, and even plunked out the melody for "Come Thou Fount," one of my most ultimate favorite songs ever.  As I continued through the book, my heart leaped, my eyes teared, and my fingers danced for my heart had settled on the song, "How Do You Move a Mountain."  Each word sealed within me the blessings Heavenly Father had given me this weekend, including each of you, my husband, my daughter, the knowledge that He knew.

Painful & tear-inducing that our life experiences and emotions may be, FAITH in Him is how we manage to get through, how we heal, and how we move mountains (even those that are within ourselves).

"Standing like David

before my Goliath,

Difficult, yes,

but impossible, no.

Learning like Nephi,

it's his will to triumph, 

I'll learn, I'll try,

I'll go.

But how do you move a mountain?

How do you soften a heart made of stone?

What makes a king fall down on his knees

or a rich man to leave all he owns?

Christ said "believe" and all that you need

is the faith of a tiny seed.

Living today

in this world isn't easy.

How do I face

insurmountable odds?

Finding I'm more than I am

when He's with me,

My power, my strength

is my God.

But how do you move a mountain?

How do you soften a heart made of stone?

What makes a king fall down on his knees

or a rich man to leave all he owns?

Christ said "believe" and all that you need

is the faith of a tiny seed.

...Standing like David, 

before my Goliath..."

I'm so grateful for each of you... for my Heavenly Father... for my husband... and for Mini-Me, rushed and sometimes disorderly.