It's Here!

Just call it the Little Swimsuit That Could!

***SURGEON GENERAL WARNING:  Pictures of ME ahead!***

Please ignore extra rolls over edges, extra cleavage (front OR back), and the fact that my thighs touch.
(Sorry didn't have any other models available).

I adore the Tummy Tuk bottoms!
They've got just the right curve on the leg that I don't feel like a complete school marm.  Also that curve kinda lifts my bum, which unfortunately I'm learning I've inherited the flat-bum genes from my mom after all.  =(

Not bad.  Not bad at all.
All I gotta do is firm up the tush & pray for some more roundness and these Hot Shorts will be quite sporty & fab.

But, ya know, for the most part despite the still-visible flaws I detest, most of the major things I don't like about my body this suit has totally handled!!!  AND IT'S MODEST BEYOND BELIEF...AND STILL SEMI-HOT!!!

Let's just say I <3 Hapari.  I'll definitely be adding more of their tankinis & bottoms to my personal collection, as well as Mini-Me's, AND bottoms for Mr. LKP's for sure!

They're my new swimwear BFF!

Game, Set, Match + Waiting with Bated Breath

I know, I know...
"LKP you already DID a swimwear post this season."

Yes, you are right.

Thing is, life hasn't slowed down enough for me to do anything about it!  Isn't that sad?  We're at minus 2 days and counting until my old office's annual Patient Appreciation Luau Celebration at the waterpark, which I'm helping with!  Not to mention, we're halfway through summer & I still only have my oldy-moldy suits.  (Now doesn't that paint a disgusting mental picture?!)

Really they're not moldly.  And the latest in the collection is just a little older than a year...I think.  Well 18 months old, tops!  However, none of them fit completely AND really they never did fit right to begin with.

Whatever fit the Southern hemisphere didn't fit the Northern hemisphere.  The Northern WAAAAY overshadows the Southern.  Just sayin' (and this has absolutely NOTHING to do with President Lincoln & who won the Civil War---though there's apparently an LKP civil war being waged as we speak!).  So I settled.  The little numbers I do have, where I could custom size tops & bottoms, weren't right since there wasn't enough coverage around the Equator....or the Tropic of Cancer for that matter.  The tankinis I found aren't long enough, and the bottoms too short.  So there's a little peekaboo Bellygate scandal going on right around the 13-years-later-pudgy-once-again-tummy area.  Now, to see my little albino belly swelling at the waistband, even in the slightest is shamefully DISGUSTING!!!

I see that in the mirror and think: "Self, this is not acceptable!  Were we not a flat-abbed/flat-tummied model at one point?  Were we not rocking some Pamela Anderson-lookalike compliments in the not so distant past?  Even in college, AFTER our baby, didn't we redeem our swimsuit-body?!  Self, pull yourself together!"

So at 2am, this morning, I did just that.  I pulled myself together.  I pulled my debit card out + pulled the Hapari website up.  I closed my eyes.  Placed the order.  Opened them briefly to see that my order was confirmed.  I was totally patting myself on the back, and only slightly concerned that my party's in 2 days...and I couldn't afford the $35 for overnight shipping.  Therefore $8 for 2-3 days shipping was what I went with.  In my gut, I was worried.  But that's my fault for waiting so long to order.  I was content with that bit of a worry.

I ordered this:

With this:

And this:

Guess what?!  One should NEVER order with their eyes closed!  When I actually read my confirmation email, it suddenly dawned on me that I had registered with the website BEFORE we bought Gusty Ridge Ranch & moved 2 months ago!  Oy vey.  Here's the other problem with ordering with your eyes closed at 2am, there's no one there to answer the phone to solve a dilemma at 2am!  So I instantly sent an email stating my worries & included the new address.  Zipped that off & figured I'd cover all my bases and left a message at their 866 number.  I crossed my fingers, threw some salt over my shoulder, spun around 3 times on my head, and went to bed hoping for the best, but wound up dreaming of the worst.

When the mystical Mr LKP woke me this morning, as he headed to work, I asked if we'd heard from Hapari or not.  He looked at me weird and asked, "Why?  Did you order a swimsuit or something?"  I think he thought I was still talking in my sleep.  I informed him that I definitely HAD ordered the suit, but had his permission & I saved 40 bucks.  Mr LKP sleeps pretty hard.  I know this, but apparently didn't realize exactly how hard, since I woke him from the couch and had him sit a few minutes with me at the computer to help me decide which suit to go with.  He chose his favorite, kissed me on the forehead, gave his blessing on the purchase, and went to bed.  Imagine my further surprise when, back to before he went to work, he said he didn't remember any of it.  Stinker!  (Don't fret I wasn't in trouble with him, he was just shocked that so much had occurred and he wasn't truly awake.  Makes ya wonder, right?)

Anyhow, I sent him off to work, and hopped online.  To my delight there was an email from Janessa at Hapari!  She is my guardian angel.  She'd gotten both the email and my voicemail and had already corrected the address issue, and assured me that I would have my suit Friday before my party!!!
{{insert Hallelujah! chorus here}}

So I replied with my email of gratitude and immediately went about creating this post to send you all over to their site.  There's not a single less-than-sunny review of their suits on the site, and there's a gajillion reviews!  That's refreshing.  They also have news clips on their blog that showcase their suits on everyday women.  Made it easier for me to gauge how a suit may work for me than on the 2-D photos of the same 3 perfect models in their catalog section.  Plus, I'd say I'm MORE than pleased with their customer service.  So take this as your very own, personally embossed invitation to Hapari!
You won't be disappointed.

And to think that THAT was where my post was going to wrap-up & be delivered to your Google Readers.  Huh!  Hapari has gone and outdone themselves within minutes.  No joke!

While composing this, Janessa called.  Stated that she was reading further in my email, from earlier this morning, about my sizing issues.  She stated the bottoms I'd ordered would be perfect, but after seeing my measurements she's thinking the top I ordered might be a bit snug and so she was adding the next size up into my order, so that way I wasn't still without a suit for Friday's waterbash!  Awesome, no?!

I of course clarified that we would just be adding the cost of that top to my existing order, so I should expect the additional $54 to my already anticipated charge...yeah?  She said she'd hold onto my CC info just in case I kept both, but otherwise was going to toss it in, and whichever didn't fit I could just ship back.

WHAT THE BANANAS?!?!?!  

Have you ever received such customer service and faith in the consumer in your life?!  I haven't.  I studied business (amongst other things) in college, and really nowadays, business students only read about this in customer service case-studies of Nordstrom & maybe 1 or 2 incidents involving Starbucks!  Unprecidented in the world of swimwear, that's for sure!!!  I'm completely blown away.  So, don't just head over to Hapari, RUN FORREST RUN!!!!


P.S.
They've made all sorts of fab changes for this year that I wasn't aware of before:

Not only do ALL their original styles offer 3 different ways you can wear them for consistent coverage, but the S.O.S. tankini top is perfect for us who've been greatly endowed northernly, since S.O.S. stands for "save our shape"...they have an underwire foundation built-in!  Woot woot!!! 

Also, this season they're offering a plus-size line in all the same fun patterns & colors.  Awesome.

And as far as the guys in your life are concerned, they not only offer board-shorts but also "Captain's Quarters" which are these awesomely colored & varied compression shorts for under the board-shorts.  Apparently pro-surfers & football players are LOVING these compression shorts!  No more boxers/boxer-briefs needed under the boardshorts.  According to the reports their uber comfy for the guys without any bunching! 

Exciting, no?

P.P.S.
I'm adding these to my wishlist for once I have my suit & am further blown-away:

and...

and...

And don't think I don't have Hapari ideas for both Mini-Me & Mr LKP!  Have a glorious Wednesday.
:)

Here's My Dilemma, Again and Again...

...swimsuit season!

(SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: DIATRIBE ALERT!!!!!)

Yearly, it's the same huge debacle.

Now, I'm not complaining about my size, and I don't get a yearly eating disorder in prep for it.  (Not saying I wouldn't LOVE to be smaller again though, either.)
But my issue solely stems from finding THE FIT and THE COVERAGE for the northern hemisphere of my frame.

One-piece, boy shorts, high-cut, low-cut, bandeau, bikini, tankini, rash guards, cutaways & monokini....wait, what?!  Cutaways, really?  What's left to cutaway?!  And monokini, What the bananas?!?!?!?!  (It's like the thong of one pieces!)  Seriously, its all enough to give a girl a migraine...Not only are there too many options, none of them seem to be made of much anymore.
Not. at. all.

Modesty's a HUGE deal to me.  Love Speedo & TYR, for their modesty.  However, it's like my own civil war.  My North & South don't agree, so a one piece is a ridiculous ordeal!  Plus, Neither Speedo or TYR have the support necessary to outfit me.  ::tear::

Last year I was infatuated with the line from Lime Ricki.  They have a lot of stuff that I LOVE (like the Bailey Top or the Nicki Top).  Though upon further browsing of their wares/wears, I'm not so sure they can give me what I NEED.  It's great to offer cute, but if they can't back that cute up for a wider variety of bodies, well then...cute doesn't cut it.  (Not knocking them, they just don't work for me.  By all means, give 'em a whirl if they'll work for you.)

Also, last year, I was totally digging this gem from Victoria's Secret.  However, note that not only was I having MAJOR issues with the mid-drift showing, but also with these words in the description "shelf bra."  What a joke!  "We loosely stitched a little elastic thread through there, so let's classify it as a 'shelf bra'.  That sounds good!  Since it says VS on it, it's bound to sell.  Yeah, yeah!  That'll do it."  Don't get me wrong here either, I'm a big Victoria's Secret fan.  (Can you keep a secret?  ...no pun intended, lol... I used to work there in college.  When it comes to support garments that come with wires, I LOVE that place.  But their hardware is a MUST!  Otherwise it's not worth it.  Hence my lack of appreciation for a shelf bra from there.  Just sayin'.)  Unless it says in there "this shelf bra will fit like the most secure Nike sports bra made of titanium" then I'm not buying it.  Not even a single mention of sports bra security, yeah...no kudos to them.

This year, I plan to give Hapari a try though.  I've heard great things about their suits.  Plus upon taking a stroll through their virtual shop, I'm impressed with the quality & attention to details, not to mention physics AND GRAVITY!

Forgive me, cause I'm gonna be frank (no, not "Hi Frank, nice to meet you" in a gruff, gravelly voice):
Ok, I'm busty. So I'm having a hard time deciding whether to go with the Sport Tankini style (which, btw, I adore it's length, but I don't want to run the risk of looking like a tube-o-mom over here...had that happen once...bought a racer back, sport/control suit in a lovely cobalt blue last year.....no joke, one look in the mirror & I screamed, no cried.  Well both, at the same time, actually.  I looked like a Smurf turd).

I also like the V-Neck Tankini style (but I don't want "the girls" to spontaneously pop/squish out;  not to mention my neck to ache from the tie;  nor my back-fat to OOZE out from between the straps, since there'll need to be some MAJOR tension going on).

The S.O.S. Tankini style sounds heavenly (I just KNOW the cutesy Butterfly style can't hack this)!  But as far as patterns are concerned, I'm in love with the Black Aloha pattern and the Metro pattern...not to mention, I'm over the moon for the Island Fever pattern.  Matter of fact, Island Fever & Black Aloha are probably my top two!
Also, I am simply ADORING the Tummy Tuk Bottoms & the Hot Shorts!

So that's my swimwear dilemma.  Have tried to work it all out with Land's End swimwear before, and it was tragedy.  They're great suits, built sturdy, just not designed to handle all this.  (For some reason, Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious" just started playing in my head right now. "I don't think you can handle this!" ...BAH!)

This year'll be a doozy as well, since now I've gotta 13 yr old who's apparently following my lead.  We both struggle with finding suits in local stores that cover everything, but don't make us look like petri dish experiments. (Not to mention don't cost an arm & a leg, and require we buy stock in a sailboat's sailcoth company in order to afford all the material required.)

So, perhaps I'm totally alone in my grumbling this year.  Then again, maybe I'm not.  No matter the body size, perhaps you're struggling to find modest as well.  Give those company's I mentioned a peek.  They may be perfect for you!

Also, as further incentive, my pal, Juliana, over at A Blonde Walks into a Blog is having a Hapari giveaway!  Check it all out and happy summer/swimwear shopping.

(P.S. Hapari also offers women's clothing helps, some junior's stuff.  Hooray for that idea!!!  Woot woot!)