5.09.2011

All Credit to My Heavenly Father

...with a little additional, round-about help from Mr LKP... and Mini-Me.

So, the slumpy blues I've been in have not been fun.  But airing it all out here in the space helped ease the pain a bit.  The supportive response has been such a blessing.  I can't sufficiently express my immense gratitude.  So please accept this, my meager thanks - thank you.

Mr LKP happened to read the last post Saturday evening.  I can't quite explain it, but his hugs have been more tender.  His kisses more sweet.  He's just been more gentle.  Even in church, yesterday, he hardly left my side (besides Relief Society in the last hour).  Considering all the Mother's Day talk, Mr LKP was very attentive & protective of me.  And it felt good to know I was physically not alone.

As for that last hour of church, without my husband by my side & surrounded by other women (many of whom were not suffering as I was & over the moon for Mother's Day), there was respite.  The lesson, surprisingly, was on Honesty.  I was soooo grateful that our Relief Society Presidency felt it was important to not deter from this year's lesson manual just to focus on the holiday.  I was so relieved.  In addition, Mr LKP's aunt was teaching, and I adore her, as well as her matter-of-fact style of teaching.  It's so clear, concise, educated, smile-inducing, and always, spiritually eye-opening.  Not usually is there a whole lot of run-away emotions when she teaches, and I think I learn best in that type of learning atmosphere.

She was just barely getting started, when a member of our Stake Presidency stepped in to share a few words with us sisters about Mother's Day.  My stomach plummeted through my chair, I'm sure of it.

He gazed at each of us, and proceeded to share with us that when Mother's Day is celebrated within our church that it is not strictly meant for those who are actively engaged in chasing toddlers around or cradling an infant in their arms at that moment.  He said that within the Church, motherhood = womanhood, as all women were given the power & talents to create.

This can mean many things, as some women may create children, while others create art.  Some women may bear children, while others may raise those children.  Some women may raise many children, while some will raise one child, yet unknowingly will have helped raise that child's peers.  Some women will help nurture and mold nieces, nephews & grandchildren, while some may help nurture and inspire children of their "village." 

We were literally created with the purpose of becoming mothers at some point in our future existence... guaranteed we will experience some form of motherhood.  Whether we enjoy the blessing of earthly posterity or not in this life, we have the potential to enjoy the blessing of worlds without number after this life... and worlds without number will need to be populated with even more spiritual children!

This member of our Stake Presidency went on to teach us how very important women have been throughout the history of the Church, as well as the history of the Earth.  We are important.  We are of worth.  We are Heavenly Father's crowning jewel.  He finished by expressing the love of our Stake Presidency for each of us, and testified to Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ's love for us as well.  With that, he was finished, and I was a teary mess.  But in a good way.  I knew that someone with a MUCH greater perspective was aware of my aching.  I no longer felt as lonely inside. 

So maybe my biological reach will remain with only one child.  But that child is loved & cherished by my husband as if she were his own.  That is a phenomenal blessing.  I often worried that Mr LKP would be disappointed that I could not give him someone to carry on his family name.  After discussing it, he told me that he wasn't concerned since his older brother has two sons who will do that for his family.  He's just grateful to have his two girls: me & Mini-Me.

And just because my biological reach may not extend past Mini-Me, that doesn't mean I can't be a positive impact in the lives of her friends.  So, apparently it IS possible to be the village momma while only having one bio-kid in the village!  :)

So, that's how this weekend played out.  But the message didn't end there.

This morning, as I was seeing my family out the door, I noticed that Mini-Me's rushed, disorderly cleaning job in the "living room" area of my shoebox house had been less than adequate... and a might bit sloppy.  Especially in the vicinity of the piano.  Namely, the piano bench.  No lie.  The lid would not, and COULD not close completely.  If one tried to sit to play a song, they would've slid off and bit the keys!  So I went about the task of organizing the bench's contents properly.  One task led to another... so I found myself in a binder, organizing all our loose sheet music into their own sheet protectors.  (When I was finished it was so clean, and lovely feeling!)  Then I put the rest of the bench's items in order (one stack of "mine" and one stack of "Mini-Me's").  At the bottom of the main pile I rediscovered a book I'd overlooked, and sadly forgotten about.  It was placed on the music desk of the piano, and I finished reconciling the bench.

This book is a collection of songs sung by Jessie Clark Funk.  I sat down, perused through many of the sungs, and even plunked out the melody for "Come Thou Fount," one of my most ultimate favorite songs ever.  As I continued through the book, my heart leaped, my eyes teared, and my fingers danced for my heart had settled on the song, "How Do You Move a Mountain."  Each word sealed within me the blessings Heavenly Father had given me this weekend, including each of you, my husband, my daughter, the knowledge that He knew.

Painful & tear-inducing that our life experiences and emotions may be, FAITH in Him is how we manage to get through, how we heal, and how we move mountains (even those that are within ourselves).



"Standing like David
before my Goliath,
Difficult, yes,
but impossible, no.

Learning like Nephi,
it's his will to triumph, 
I'll learn, I'll try,
I'll go.

But how do you move a mountain?
How do you soften a heart made of stone?
What makes a king fall down on his knees
or a rich man to leave all he owns?
Christ said "believe" and all that you need
is the faith of a tiny seed.

Living today
in this world isn't easy.
How do I face
insurmountable odds?

Finding I'm more than I am
when He's with me,
My power, my strength
is my God.

But how do you move a mountain?
How do you soften a heart made of stone?
What makes a king fall down on his knees
or a rich man to leave all he owns?
Christ said "believe" and all that you need
is the faith of a tiny seed.

...Standing like David, 
before my Goliath..."

I'm so grateful for each of you... for my Heavenly Father... for my husband... and for Mini-Me, rushed and sometimes disorderly.

11 comments:

NaDell said...

I'm so glad that you are getting much needed support. Sounds like such an inspired meeting and words. =)

Valerie said...

I just love those tender mercies that let me know my Heavenly Father knows my heartaches and speaks to me through others. It's like a big, divine bear hug. :) So glad you had a nice weekend! Lots of love.

Valerie said...

So glad the weekend went okay~ and that you are feeling the sunshine break through those dark clouds!
Being down stinks~ but doesn't it also make the feeling good part so much sweeter? (I have a great quote by Elder Maxwell about that very thing...I just need to find it!)
Hugs for you!
Have a great week.

CB said...

Ok I commented on your last post and I went to see other comments and noticed mine was not there...so weird.

Anyway, I basically wrote that you are an amazing woman and an amazing mom and are an influence in so many peoples lives and I hope you knew that!!

Now this post I am glad you were able to feel the spirit and get a message to sooth your soul at church.

I love you tons and hope you are feeling better!

Welcome to the Garden of Egan said...

Dear Sweet Keeley,
It sounds as though the member of the Stake Presidency was totally inspired to speak to you. I would have loved to have been there. To give you a hug.
You are such a wonderful influence to so many. You are raising many villages.
I {{{HEART}}} you so much.

We must be twins cuz Come Thou Font is my #1 ultimate favorite song EVER.

Love you my friend.

Welcome to the Garden of Egan said...

Oh and my verification word was:

peardro

I had to laugh!

Anonymous said...

I so wanted to leave you hugs last week, but my comment would not be accepted. :( It's funny, the comment that I tried so hard to leave you was that your self worth is not based on how many children you bear, but in all the little and big things that you do throughout your life. You have worth because you are... I guess maybe someone else was meant to give you that message. :)

So happy you had a nice day. :)

Jan said...

That my dear, is a huge loving day.. brought to you by Heavenly Father for sure :) Thank you!

Lisa Loo said...

So glad that your Mother's Day was so blessed. You are such a sweet thing--would hate to think that your heart was hurting for any reason.....

mCat said...

Your Stake Presidency member was most def inspired and the tender mercy of finding that book in the disorder, another sign that Heavenly Father knows us perfectly.

Not a sparrow shall fall - HE knows us.

What a beautiful post!

ericksonzone said...

I love you wonder woman! What a sweet experience. We do not always know why, but I'm grateful that Heavenly Father does send understanding (however seemingly slow in coming) that it's all part of his plan and will play out in the end. You are wonderful! And I know that you are helping and influencing other young people besides just your daughter.

Yes, we went private because of Jason's job. He likes the idea of just haveing invited readers looking at our goings-on.

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