I haven't any great or grand answers this week.
Just what I believe about my human issues that are brewing....and making the hamster wheels in my head spin like crazy.
Am trying to work through them...so turn away if you want to continue with the mindset that I lead a perfect little life. Cause I don't want to disappoint you, seriously just turn away now.
If you already realized a long time ago that I am riddled with flaws? Well than none of this will come as a surprise probably.
Not that you'll get much out of today's post, but I needed to type it all out. HAD to get these thoughts out of my head, so I'll be more likely to act on these impressions....okay read on if you'd like a chuckle....or need to feel good about yourselves.
So...
Ever feel like you're drowning in life?
Not as in with water....but in life!
Too much of it.
Life piled up everywhere you look...everywhere you listen...everywhere you breathe...or attempt to sit-down and hide out hoping for the storms to blow over ya, unsuspecting-like and all.
Just everywhere. Life.
It can be extremely overwhelming.
So the problem with when I get that TOO MUCH feeling is I start to feel broken. I know I've got a little more steam somewhere in me, it's just that I am hindered in remembering how to once again be a most effective version of me and how to get that steam motivating or propelling me forward.
Nope, there are loads of times that I'd rather sit in my jammies all day, greasy hair like there's no tomorrow, and hide from the phone rather than face the world one. more. time.
Cause, of course ya gotta know, my time is valuable! One more thing on the agenda or to do list or talent to develop, or speed bump to hurdle (trust me, I'm short & not the size 3 I once was, so a speed bump is a hefty hurdle for this girl), might just send me over the edge.
It's not easy not finding enough time to myself or to my family. Then again, it's not easy when a chunk of time comes along (thanks to unplugging the home phone & ripping the battery off the back of the cellphone), and there aren't extra bodies demanding attention.....and well, it's suddenly THE perfect moment(s) I've been saying if only I'd had more of in life, then I could do so much more.....well, then suddenly I find myself beside myself. In boredom. In loneliness. Gosh, I don't know how the pioneers or the generations since then, before me hacked this! It's the darnedest thing to get past.
But, with Autumn on, I'm feeling even more "now or never" about things....including my housework. Why is that? Just the season? Is it my age? I mean seriously. Knocking on 31 here guys....is that the urgency I'm feeling? Perhaps a subconscious "C'mon, grow up already!".....?????
So, with all this on my mind, while the piles of laundry are breathing down my neck, I happened to stumble upon a remarkable statement in my readings:
"Now, brothers and sisters, we have launched a cleanup campaign. We are a throw-away people. Trash piles grow faster than population by far. Now we ask you to clean up your homes and your farms. “Man is the keeper of the land, and not its possessor.”
Just what I believe about my human issues that are brewing....and making the hamster wheels in my head spin like crazy.
Am trying to work through them...so turn away if you want to continue with the mindset that I lead a perfect little life. Cause I don't want to disappoint you, seriously just turn away now.
If you already realized a long time ago that I am riddled with flaws? Well than none of this will come as a surprise probably.
Not that you'll get much out of today's post, but I needed to type it all out. HAD to get these thoughts out of my head, so I'll be more likely to act on these impressions....okay read on if you'd like a chuckle....or need to feel good about yourselves.
So...
Ever feel like you're drowning in life?
Not as in with water....but in life!
Too much of it.
Life piled up everywhere you look...everywhere you listen...everywhere you breathe...or attempt to sit-down and hide out hoping for the storms to blow over ya, unsuspecting-like and all.
Just everywhere. Life.
It can be extremely overwhelming.
- Too many outings.
- Too many appointments.
- Too many belongings.
- Too many bills.
- Too many "projects."
- Too many needs (your family's as well as your own).
So the problem with when I get that TOO MUCH feeling is I start to feel broken. I know I've got a little more steam somewhere in me, it's just that I am hindered in remembering how to once again be a most effective version of me and how to get that steam motivating or propelling me forward.
Nope, there are loads of times that I'd rather sit in my jammies all day, greasy hair like there's no tomorrow, and hide from the phone rather than face the world one. more. time.
Cause, of course ya gotta know, my time is valuable! One more thing on the agenda or to do list or talent to develop, or speed bump to hurdle (trust me, I'm short & not the size 3 I once was, so a speed bump is a hefty hurdle for this girl), might just send me over the edge.
It's not easy not finding enough time to myself or to my family. Then again, it's not easy when a chunk of time comes along (thanks to unplugging the home phone & ripping the battery off the back of the cellphone), and there aren't extra bodies demanding attention.....and well, it's suddenly THE perfect moment(s) I've been saying if only I'd had more of in life, then I could do so much more.....well, then suddenly I find myself beside myself. In boredom. In loneliness. Gosh, I don't know how the pioneers or the generations since then, before me hacked this! It's the darnedest thing to get past.
But, with Autumn on, I'm feeling even more "now or never" about things....including my housework. Why is that? Just the season? Is it my age? I mean seriously. Knocking on 31 here guys....is that the urgency I'm feeling? Perhaps a subconscious "C'mon, grow up already!".....?????
So, with all this on my mind, while the piles of laundry are breathing down my neck, I happened to stumble upon a remarkable statement in my readings:
"Now, brothers and sisters, we have launched a cleanup campaign. We are a throw-away people. Trash piles grow faster than population by far. Now we ask you to clean up your homes and your farms. “Man is the keeper of the land, and not its possessor.”
Broken fences should be mended or removed. Unused barns should be repaired, roofed, painted, or removed. Sheds and corrals should be repaired and painted, or removed. Weedy ditch banks should be cleared. Abandoned homes could probably be razed. We look forward to the day when, in all of our communities, urban and rural, there would be a universal, continued movement to clean and repair and paint barns and sheds, build sidewalks, clean ditch banks, and make our properties a thing of beauty to behold."
This DOES apply to the exterior of my home, as well as its interior. (Stinkin' lost sewing machine pedal! Make yourself known already so I can get this dang valance done and up! Tired of seeing the lovely fabric still lifeless on the counter, which is cluttering up & clogging my life.)
It DOES apply to these sprawling 7 acres of sand, sagebrush, and piles that are accumulating out there....ya know, because we don't have a shop or barn yet?
It ABSOLUTELY applies to my family's schedule. (Enough is enough, fo' realsies!)
It DOES most definitely apply to the exterior of my body. (This body has definitely seen better days. And granted I'll never be that 17 year old again, but I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not just the teensiest bit inspired by Brit & M-Cat's awesome adventures lately.)
It also & ESPECIALLY applies to the interior of my body; namely my brain. (Must get more sleep so said brain can function better? Check! Gotta just plow through the contagious procrastination epidemic that's leaping from one lobe to the other? Double-check!)
So, yeah. Gotta get this knocked out. That way I can feel like I can breathe again. That way my husband can praise me & my name & my works in the gates (see Proverbs 31). That way nothing else becomes casualty to the laundry siege currently raging (I count 2 remotes, we're down by 3).
"...therefore, first set in order thy house."
(D&C 93:44)
Got to get my ENTIRE house re-qualified as a house of order.
I'm feeling its necessary....soon....in a big way!
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's remarks on Saturday were RIGHT up my alley considering all this mess of mine....watch below to be more enlightened, empowered, and inspired!
So, toss me the nearest life-preserver, baby...
Cause it's mendin' time!
AND it's shower time....AND apparently time to shave my legs..AND run all the hot water outta the house!
(Sorry, apparently I'm a little snarky, as well as overwhelmed.)
3 comments:
Loved this!! I am always trying to find ways to clear the clutter from my physical and spiritual life. Thanx for sharing!
I wondered if you were going to get to Pres. Uchtdorf in your post. I loved his talk as well. I like the Pres. Kimball quote as well. That was in a lesson for the YW recently. I'm going to make something that says reduce the rush to help me remember this good and needful advice.
P.S. The masquerade ball sounds fun, but we might already have plans. I've been trying to schedule in time to come and see you guys...I'll let you know. :)
oh sweetie, that was awesome and definitely something i needed to hear. i didn't see pres. uchtdorf's talk on saturday (someone was screaming), so i'm so happy to have it right here. don't you love how quotes from the 70's have so much validity right now? it's perfect for everything you talked about. i love how you said that the clutter was clogging up your life...clogging is such a big word to me & i can see it happening here too. knocking on 31 isn't so bad! i'm 33 & still waiting to feel like a "grown up". this autumn for me has brought too many clogs to count, so i feel like i am in the same boat as you friend. i also love how you said the thing about another talent to develop. it does seem like we have so so many things to learn that it might never be enough. HOWEVER, i know that just by posting something beautiful like this that you're on the right track. AND by reading something beautiful like this, i'm on the right track too. let's do this thing together. let's make our lives a thing of beauty to behold.
LOVE YOU GIRL!!!
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