So it was one of those things that I elected in the month of December to just keep in my heart and ponder over.
When many people fret over me, I become overwhelmed. Then I worry too much that they're worrying too much, or I wonder if I'm making too big of a deal of it all in the first place. Now, the second-guessing myself, or downplaying of the situation, isn't healthy either. Therefore, my approach this time around was a new one for me.
Plus, I figured the less I talked about my upcoming surgery, the less nervous I would be.
It did work, I was less nervous. I didn't downplay or back out of my surgery. But a lot of people have been blindsided by the fact that a procedure went down, and the fact that I'm still down & out in recovery.
Let me make perfectly clear, this surgery was NOT life-threatening. It was also NOT a recreational procedure (that's right, no correction of the flat spot on my nose). However it was due to a disease, so that means it was necessary.
Substantial Endometriosis was detected at my girly doc visit in early December. Keep in mind he is a new-to-me doctor, in a new-to-me office; however, he is THE best OB-GYN practitioner in our region. Trust me, I've just about seen them all. Anyhow, he detected it in the visit & then immediately rushed me over for better insight from an ultrasound. From there my surgery was scheduled for Friday, the 13th of January. (Some would question the Friday the 13th thing, but that questioning falls on deaf ears. It's just another day. And historically for me its actually been a pretty LUCKY day at that. So don't stress.)
The luck held for me that day, in the sense that once my doctor got in there he found quite a bit more than he had anticipated, so he classified it was both substantial & aggressive. (I have 3 pages of photographs to prove both. But I won't be posting those here. Sorry & you're welcome!) So I'm grateful I went in on that day for I shudder at the idea of having waited any longer. My last procedure to rid my body from Endo was a decade ago, and even then it was just an investigative procedure where they happened to discover the Endo while there. (Beyond extracting & cauterizing the Endo found in the OR, no further treatment was pursued to keep the Endo away. So it came back, and essentially incubated for 10 years. Yuck!)
As like with my surgery 10 years ago, a Chromotubation took place; where dye was sent through the tubes to check for adhesions. There were none, again. Thanks goodness!
Since then I've spent the last couple weeks being soup on the couch. Doped up, managing the pain, & sucking up documentaries like there's no tomorrow on NetFlix (a great program suggestion named Downton Abbey has come in from Cherie, so its definitely que'd up). With all that nasty Endo gone now, I'm tender & feeling a bit raw in my belly, to say the least. My incisions are still sensitive, however at my Post-Op check yesterday they were deemed to be healing beautifully. Also at yesterday's visit, my Lupron & hormone regiment kicked in with my first monthly shot of Lupron right in my sitter!
Nothing makes a girl feel more like prized-livestock-heading-to-the-county-fair like an shot in the butt cheek... Nothing.
This regiment consists of a monthly dose of Lupron to kill off any Endo that may still be lurking in my body. The side-effects from Lupron is normally some extra irritability and bone loss. So, the hormone I'm taking is an Estrogen. Estrogen actually promotes Endo growth, therefore this is a low dosage of Estrogen. Just high enough to counteract the (excuse my french) bitchiness & prevent the bone loss -but low enough that the Endo stays squelched. So, yeah, there'll be a chemistry war going on in my body for the next six months. Huzzah. (For the less-explosive witch festival factor, though, Mr LKP is very grateful for the estrogen part of this, just sayin'.)
At least I'll be pain-free!
Chemistry war aside, I too am grateful for this regiment nonetheless; it buys me time really. Could be just a few years, or it could be many years. There's no telling for sure. At the end of the six months it'll be as though I have a clean slate with my girly health (not perfect, but at least a cleared slate nonetheless). And we are told that my fertility will have improved greatly when all is said and done. Whether any additional infertility treatment will be necessary from there will be determined after a trial period once we've gotten me the healthiest I can be. (I'm still coming to grips with where I stand on further infertility strategies coming into play for us. But I've got six months to come to that official decision. Plus, I'm reminded of the parable of the talents, found in the New Testament. Heavenly Father gives these doctors knowledge, talent & techniques not so they can be buried; they're given on which to be built upon. Same goes for my body's health. He won't give me the adequate health just for me to throw my hands up, not trust Him nor who He's placed in my medical life, and give up. On the other hand, I don't want to be so eager & determined that it bankrupts us, and destroys what family I DO have. And all that for what? To still have my arms empty & my heart obliterated? So I'm working on it, slow but sure. Will take lots of prayers & faith.)
Now I don't want my hopes (or anyone else's for that matter) to get too high. I've been there and done that for over 10 years now. NGL, being a perma-optimist can really take it out of a girl. It's thoroughly worn me out and has led me to living hopelessly.
However, the next 6 months may not only be a period of reproductive rehabilitation, but also the rehab for my ability to hope. So in a way, this is a rejuvenating idea & kind of exciting. Like my second-wind of hope. Does that make sense?
So we'll be praying a lot. We'll be hoping more than we are used to. We'll be planning for the future more brightly than before (since we were looking at the idea of becoming empty-nesters in 3 very short years --- and that idea's brought some very dark emotional clouds with it cause I feel 35/36 is WAY too young to be an empty-nester!). Perhaps 2012 will be the year Mr LKP & I finally get pregnant.... could be amazing!
Aside from Post-Op checks, my ventures out of the house have been limited to some of Mini-Me's basketball games (which, btw, she finally scored the first 3 points-in-a-game of her entire basketball career on Wednesday -whohoooo!), and a couple hours of church. Yesterday I was told to continue to lay low, for probably the next month. As for my photography, no shoots. As for editing any previous shoots, I can only do that for 30 minutes at a time, and only once my body agrees with that. Additional time can be added once the doc clears it.
So, if you are waiting on photos from me, I apologize. I'm trying to get better as soon as possible so I can have that all squared away for my clients.
And that, ladies & gents, is the Post-Op update.
On the other front, in December, Mr LKP elected to end his employment with the trucking outfit he was with, and return to his family's construction company. It has been an inspired move for him. Prayers have been answered, anxieties have been soothed, and our family has experienced healing in a whole other way. He's been able to really help his father, and they're prepping for probably their biggest, most productive year in the entire 36-year history of the business! BONUS: Mr LKP's been able to be there for me through this whole surgery ordeal, which that itself is a miracle. (We can't even fathom how difficult this situation would have been with him gone to North Dakota for most of it.) Thanks be to God for these new chapters in our family's life and all the blessings He's given us!
...Now, since this has taken much longer to compose than I had anticipated, I need to lie down for a little bit before I head to Mini-Me's last home game in a few hours.
Oodles of XOXO. I'll leave you with just a handful of phone pics that have been taken in the past two weeks. Thanks for the many well-wishes that have come in. Thanks for the many prayers that have been offered. You are all so wonderful!
Willow, helping LKP heal on the couch with infamous Puguini snuggles
(and with her cautious burrowing under covers & over pillows)....
A fabulous long-stem sucker bouquet from the wonderfully talented, clever, & in-tune Cherie!
(Love you, woman!)