8.15.2010

Confessions: What I Did THIS Time!

So, after a family birthday party last night, I had to make a dreaded trip to our local mall.  (For me to say this is somewhat hilarious since for years I lived practically lived there whether for recreation as a teenager, or for work as a teen & later in college as well.)

Truth be told though, I've joined the Anti-Mall Moms sorority over the years.

The only place I despise shopping at more is Wal-Mart.  And sadly, my checkbook register testifies that I'm miserable in most of my shopping life now.

Why do they get all my money?  Darned gluttonous Wally World!!!

But I digress, so back to the mall.

Mini-Me has grown in leaps & bounds this summer.  Can't keep up with her to save my life.  Since she had an Old Navy gift card left from her birthday, we stopped by to hopefully snag some Bermuda shorts in her size this late in the season (see I told you I can't stand the mall.  It's been over a month since she got it, and I haven't cared how big'a hole it's burned in her pocket!  Yep, I'm ruthless like that).

We wound up hitting the jackpot.

As I'm sure you guessed it, Mr LKP was none too happy about the trip last night to boot.  But he took one for the team, and suffered silently in the men's section as he searched for replacements for his long-gone, favorite cargo pants.  Actually, even I found a pair of jeans for me @ $19 that were pretty alright.  Not bad.
$19 for brand new???  Sounds like just my size!  ;)

Fast-forward to the end of the Old Navy excursion...(such a Wayne's World moment right now!)...

...So from our Old Navy splendor, we walked the ten steps to Barnes & Noble (which is about the only place in the mall I'm at home), because Mini-Me had a gift card there too that was crying out to her to spend it.

Immediately Mr LKP shot to the magazine racks, while Mini & I traipsed over to the young adult section to check on the next addition in her current favorite series...and of course that section's pulsing with Twilight-ishness.

(Now that statement alone should be a good indicator of what I did.  Lol...So, to all of my TwiHard friends, please don't hate me!)

Have you seen this book?
It's a parody.

From what I read on the back, it was a wonder I was still standing, not crying in fits of laughter, or that I had been able to hold my bladder.  And this was probably the only time I've been the slightest bit intrigued by the whole Twilight phenomenon:

"About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me...

And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the
Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight.
Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?
Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places."

So, you've got to know that I did what only I would do.

I rescued MOST of the stack from its obscure location halfway around the world from the rest of Ms. Meyer's TwiShrine.  You got it!  I positioned the Nightlight stack right beside Twilight on the shelf!!!!

::meniacal laughter here::

I know I'm wicked, but it was too hard to resist.  And I know pride is bad, but for some reason I'm wallowing in it at the moment.
...And it feels good!!!

Honestly I'm thinking I totally boosted sales for Nightlight.

Think about it, TwiHards probably feel compelled to own every last bit of Twi-garb out there, including the Parody!  With copies of Nightlight solely positioned in their original location, there was no way they were gonna get the limelight they deserve in order to turn a buck.

Barnes & Noble...plus The Harvard Lampoon...and local TwiHards should totally thank me!

5 comments:

Stacey said...

LOL I read them and enjoyed them, but I am SO not a twihard! I'm sure the parody is hilarious and I'm a little curious. I may be making a trip to the library sometime soon!

ericksons said...

Hilarious! Now that is courage right there! See you got it girl! :)

S.I.F. said...

Hahahahah! I am seriously cracking up lady! And that is SO something I would have done! I freaking love you!

Chels said...

That's hilarious! Reminds me of that Vampires Suck movie that's coming out. Can hardly wait for that one.

Nikki said...

Hahaha.. I'm not a twihard. I watched twilight and new moon for the 1st time about a month ago. It's just not my thing :) Nightlight sounds funny.

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