What I Believe: To the Moon

"...having been born of goodly parents..."

-1 Nephi 1:1

Same can be said of me in my life.....but let's add to that:  
"...having been born of goodly grandparents..."

One of the greatest men in my life passed away yesterday morning...

At least now, he's reunited with his beautiful bride.
I've got a feeling his heart has been so broken & he's missed her terribly.
Still, it was more than a shock.

He's also reunited with his oldest son, one of his adorable daughters, and his loving parents.

He was the best man.
Humble, honorable, kind, funny, reliable & ornery.
To say he'll be missed is the most severe understatement.

He was a superhero in my eyes; like my own personal Popeye.
He was a tattooed sailor and strong to the finish.  Could have beat up any bad guy for me,
and saved me from ANY danger.

The day after Mini-Me was born, he drove her & I home from the hospital in 105+ heat.
Because the AC was out in his car, he literally broke into my house
and shimmied through a window just to save us from the sweltering summer temps!
He had to save his girls.  Told ya, superhero.

His orneriness & personality? 
Tommy Lee Jones' performance in Captain America pretty much gives the world a taste of what my family has lived with and loved for 78 years!
(Haven't seen the movie?  Go.  Do.  You have to now, just so we're on the same page.  Matter of fact, I think I want to go see it for a 4th time, just so I can laugh and feel closer to him again.)

From this man: 

• I learned how to be patient on a riverbank, holding a fishing pole.
• I learned the value & potential of an old metal coffee can (great for collecting agates in, for harvesting warm & sweet cherry tomatoes with, for harboring polly wogs & toads).
• I learned how to talk like a sailor when I really needed to.
• I learned how to master the technique for a proper "swift kick in the butt."
• I learned how to rough it when camping.
• I learned how great it was to NOT rough it when camping (with a luxurious 80's camper).
• I learned how to work hard & how to appreciate the great sacrifices of others.
• I learned how to love watching baseball games (especially Seattle Mariners games). 
• I learned how cool baseball cards are (and how nasty the stick of gum in the card pack is).
• I learned how to love watching football games (especially Seattle Seahawks games).
• I learned how to love making things with my hands.
• I learned how much better it is to make others happy.
• I learned how to get swallowed in a bear hug, complete with bristly whiskers.
• I learned how wonderful endearing nick names are ("Lil' Shit," "Bumpa," "Bumpy-Clyde-Monster").
• I learned how important family is.
• I learned how BBQ's can do more for a person than just feed a hungry tummy.
• I learned how sitting on garden swings, hovering around bird baths, climbing trees, and playing whiffle ball with cousins can heal all heartaches & unjustices in life.
• I learned how old dogs have a few new tricks up their sleeves.
• I learned how Primary songs will always be classics worth returning to ("Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam" & "I Am a Child of God" for example).
• I learned how to enjoy a hearty laugh.
• I learned how to be a good neighbor.
• I learned how to pitch in & serve others.
• I learned how to be patriotic.
• I learned how important it is to do your very best every time!
• I learned how important family events & accomplishments are.
• I learned how to honor my family's heritage... who & where I came from.
• I learned how great it is to be me.
• I learned how to be loyal.
• I learned how to forgive.
• I learned how to love... unconditionally.
• I learned how valuable & true the farewell statement "Be good like me" is.

While in Utah for Grandma Grow's burial, he & I shared a lovely experience.

He was resting in the hotel room, and we began talking about our favorite songs.
He said that his most favorite song was "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra.
I was so thrilled to hear this, for ever since I discovered this tune in 1997, it has been my most favorite as well (finally beating out Chris DeBurgh's "Lady in Red").  He began to sing a bit.... then paused, trying to remember what came next.  I then sang the rest of the line.  His eyes lit up and he said, "That's it!  That's right!"  He then sang a bit of the next line, and I finished that one.  It went on like this through the whole song, back & forth.  He was so giddy, I was teary, and the whole scene was most tender.  The song will continue to be my favorite until the end of time, but with even greater savor now.

"Fly me to the moon, 

Let me swing among those stars. 

Let me see what spring is like, 

On Jupiter and Mars.

In other words, 

Hold my hand. 

In other words, baby, 

Kiss me.
 

Fill my heart with song,

And let me sing forever more. 

You are all I long for, 

All I worship and adore.

In other words, 

Please be true.
In other words, 

I love you.

Why don't you fill my heart with song? 

Let me sing forever more. 

You are all I long for, 

All I worship and adore .
 

In other words, 

please be true.

In other words... 

In other words, 

I... love.... you."

(Jesse Clyde Grow:  November 3rd, 1932 - August 15th, 2011)

Grandpa Grow,
I will always strive to be my best, thanks to your example.
I will always love the ones in my life with all I have, thanks to the legacy you left.
I will always cherish God's blessings in my life, thanks to the humble ways you've taught us.

I will always be there to help you sing...  
In other words... I... love... you!

P.S.
I will miss your glacier-blue eyes the most!

::hugs::

Mission: More Tenderness

Here I am, literally at the end of the first month in My Refining Experiment. January's focus was on more tenderness. My job was to recognize more tenderness & tender influences in my life. Also, the goal was to, in the process of awareness, become more tender. The beauty of a project like this, is one cannot begin the experiment and come away unchanged. Even taking notice of ONE ounce of tenderness softens my soul. So, needless to say, I've been tickled to take notice. In the most peculiar of places or people I am taught.

• My heart will be forever changed thanks to a young lady I encountered at work earlier this month. She is wading through life with a challenging disability. When I say wading, I mean cheerfully splashing & laughing through life. Everything is wonderfully amazing to her. She is vivid. She is kind. She loves & values herself. When looking at a picture I had taken of her, she brought her hands to her mouth in shock. Turning to me, through her hands she exclaimed, "I look like a fashion model. I look beautiful!" She then hugged me with all she had! Suddenly my job changed, from urgently checking off my "to-do" list, into an experience to slow down and relish. At an age where there's typically greater emphasis perhaps on the fashion part of modeling, this young lady struck me more as a model-a model/example for me to follow of happiness. She couldn't pass an opportunity to find beauty within herself and those around her without celebrating it! She even hugged both the Doctor as well as myself at the conclusion of our time together. Her hug was the most pure gift she could give, and she gave it without reservation. How often may we see a person's surface, and either think "that's too bad" or "I haven't the time to find out the details?" I found that the moment I slowed down long enough to cherish her the way Heavenly Father cherishes her, I was able to better appreciate the simplicity of His gifts. My heart was aglow, and my spirit awakened by the lesson she unknowingly shares. Tenderness was inevitable....it was practically contagious!!! She will forever be my angel of tenderness.  I can't wait to see her more often, and to regularly be enlightened by her brightness and enthusiasm for everything!

Tonight, Seth treated me to the LeAnn Rimes concert (he won tickets through our local radio station). As I had expected, I was very connected to every song she sang. I LOVED that I knew EACH WORD, and I belted 'em out as if no one else was around (surprisingly Seth was NOT as embarrassed as I figured he would've been). Every word, every note struck me so personally as I had a memory to go with each number...that was until she shared a new song "What I Cannot Change." I've never heard it before. You must know that this song is a precious gift from above! No matter who each of us is, it is an anthem of coming to terms with who we are and moving forward from there. Beautiful and her voice was erethreal...hauntingly perfect! As this song has helped her process through some difficult situations, LeAnn decided to have it be more than just a song on a disc. She has launched a companion website as a forum for healing. As soon as I got home tonight, I HAD to pull it up. So if you have a moment, visit HERE. Listen to the song and read a few of the inspiring stories or share your own. They are annonymously posted, so you don't have to worry about specifics revealing your identity. It's a beautiful, tender gift of healing. This night was supposed to be an awesome time from the word "go"...it truly was and even more so than I had anticipated. I love that Heavenly Father knows me SO well that its crystal-clear that He would use this song as a vehicle for my deeper healing & refinement. There are crucial times when we must loosen our grip on our "toughness" trophy, and allow His power (not our pain) to govern our lives. Its less prickly that way. When the choking briars of life are cleared, tender shoots of hope are able to grow. More tenderness in my life? Mission: Accomplished!